You are finally married and about to start your new life with your partner. You love your partner, but their mother? It may seem that from wedding planning to holiday celebrations to parenting and more, in-laws are so difficult to handle and often thorns in our ways.
We often see that only women suffer with in-law problems than men. However, there are definitely ways to handle these difficult family relationships. The key to maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws is to keep them happy.
Often the tension between relationships is distressing and buried deep inside. So, recognizing that such problems can exist and understanding the other person’s perspective will help in promoting a healthy living with your in-laws.
Hamaraevent is pleased to present to you effective suggestions that will keep your in-laws happy and thereby, keep you also happy.
1. Treat your Partner with Respect
When your in-laws gain confidence that their family member is happy in the married relationship, they will naturally grow a liking towards you. If they get any hint that this is not the case, they will develop negative opinions.
For example, don’t fight with your spouse and have an ugly spat right in front of your in-laws. This will create a wrong impression and only lead to problems in the family.
2. Accept your in-laws the way they are
A popular quote says that ‘If you plan on sticking with your spouse, then you are also stuck with your in-laws.' Complaining about them or demanding that they change is not going to be effective. Accept your in-laws with their inherent flaws, if any.
If you really have a meddling or troublesome in-law, speak to your spouse regarding it in private and try to have them sort out the issue. Don’t try to take things in your hand and try to change your in-laws, as this will not work and only lead them to resent you more.
3. Respect
Treat your in-laws with respect, no matter what. Even if you feel there is a lack of respect for your feelings, give them the respect they deserve for their age. Respect goes a long way, and it will help a great deal in any relationship.
If you try to put up an attitude, your in-laws will not take it right, so make yourself a friendly and approachable person. Offer to assist in the kitchen and other household chores. Simple courtesies and respect will garner a positive reception from your in-laws.
4. Equality
Try to treat your mother and mother-in-law the same way. If you are buying a gift for your mother’s birthday, then also present a gift for your mother-in-law for her birthday. Gifts are a great way to show someone how much you like them.
Also, acknowledge the importance of your in-laws to your partner.Treat everyone equally and don’t try to be a judge that comes between your partner and their family. This will only create problems and put your in-laws offside.
5. Communication
Get to know your in-laws and talk to them about things you have in common. Keep away from unnecessary arguments, since that can quickly turn into bitterness against you.
Interact with your in-laws just as you would interact with your friends. You will be surprised to see many things that you have in common with them. This may also throw some light on the reasons they act or do things the way they do.
Coffees and conversations go a long way to vitalize relationships and open up new avenues.
6. Don’t be too Argumentative
At times, it is better to compromise during a disagreement than to be always right in an argument. If you always try to prove that you are right in an argument and you are never ready to compromise during a disagreement then it will portray you as being too bossy, and your in-laws will not like that.
Even if you think your in-laws are wrong from your perspective, try to put it across in a polite manner and don’t try to overshadow them. Sometimes, it is not about being right and just about being happy. So learn to adjust and compromise in order to make your in-laws happy.
7. Divide Responsibilities
When a new member enters the family, it is natural to feel threatened by the new person who is eventually taking over. Some mothers-in-law feel possessive, and they don’t want to give up responsibilities. This causes feelings of resentments build-up towards the new family member.
In order to avoid this situation, it is best to divide all the responsibilities and plan it out correctly. Let your in-laws take up their favorite jobs to help them satisfy their ego but this will put you in their good books.
Chalk out the perfect work plan so that no one feels wasted or overworked.
8. Don’t have any expectations
Expectations can lead to eventual disappointments. So never expect that you can share a perfect relationship with your in-laws. Problems and petty clashes are bound to happen even within a close family.
Also, don’t try too hard to impress your in-laws and as a result raise their expectations of a perfect daughter-in-law or son-in-law. This will cause them to be too demanding and lead to adversities. Remember that there is no such thing as dream daughter-in-law or dream in-laws title.
9. Don’t complain
Women tend to crib about their in-laws to their husband and mothers most often. This does not help in any case, so quit the complaining. Instead take charge and if you are really having a problem, sit with your in-law and discuss it.
Direct conversions will help you alleviate the real problem. Take your stand in a pleasing way and tell your in-laws what you like and don’t. This will make them understand your perspective, and you can also clearly empathize with their thinking.
10. Compromise
They say that anger is the worst enemy and moments of anger leads to more distress. So, it is best to let go off petty issues and not put too much thought into it. If you do feel the rage building up, sit down and think through it in order to reason things out.
For overall family peace and happiness, ignore petty matters and don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Compromise and get going with your life. Compromise does not mean that you are losing.
It only means that you value your relationship with your in-laws and by letting go off your ego, you can win their hearts. A little give and take will make life easier and make everyone happy.
In-laws are also part of your family. They might have the same insecurities just like you have of them. Follow the above tips and tricks to alleviate all insecurities and make your in-laws happy.
We hope that guidelines provided by HamaraEvent on a healthy relationship with your in-laws will help you get on their better side and promote a healthy living. So, relax and be kind. There has to be a common thread somewhere for you to get along with your in-laws.